Blogger question...

Hi,
You may have noticed that I have not been putting photos up. Blogger closes down each time I try and put one in - any suggestions on how to remedy this?
Thanks,
DITR

This week...

It is my mothers birthday this week. We have had a family dinner to celebrate what would have been her 59th birthday. My brother said grace and thanked God for the life that she had. Normally that is something I can pray too. But not this week.

This week I want the life she could have had. I want her to be here with me, with my girls. I want to be thankful for her here in the present, not thankful for the short period we had in the past. This week I am angry and sad that another we have another birthday and mothers day without her. That we all miss out on the bounty of her gifts.

The past seven years have taught me that this is a phase that will pass, the grief will change its shape again.

But right now, I want my Mum.

Musical mind?

My Dad gives us money to buy the girls birthday presents. He isn't a shopper so he prefer we get something they will like. As MiniMe has got older we have put the money towards lessons. One year was dance, another drama and this year Dad requested the money be put towards music lessons.

As we have a piano at home (thanks to my dad passing on our old one when he downsized) and I use to learn piano it made sense that she started with piano. 

We have had one lesson. When I was telling this to Dad he asked how you go about fostering a love of music in your children. He feels like he failed with us. Practicing was always a battle and we did it out of obligation not enjoyment.

Do some children just have that passion or is it something you can create?

I noticed that if I sat with MiniMe to practice this week the - 'I cant do' attitude stoped. We have had numerous conversations about how it will take lots of practice to get good, you only get out of it what you put in etc...

So as we begin on this musical, what tips can you give me? Please?!

Today I will not feel guilty...

I have been feeling a lot of guilt over how much TV the girls have been watching. JJ in particular has become quite at addict of the 'tee-tee', as she calls it. And it is easier to put it on then listen to her scream and scream and scream.... She also likes to view a little TV as she does her business on the potty so to encourage her to sit there the TV has been on to keep her company. (As an aside, I am not really sure if I am toilet training her but she is getting it at home so now sure where to go from here, I loathe toilet training.)
If it is on the other two girls will be glued to it too.
A bunch of square eyes in this house.
I had resolved that we would cut the viewing down. Come up with a plan to make it only a certain amount of time a day at designated times.
But then the virus struck us and today I have succumbed and I am feeling awful. It is also my birthday so today I will not feel guilty about the fact we will sit in front of the box most of the day. If only the girls were old enough to watch some of my recorded shows with me - ABC kids is not quite what I feel like.
But I do want to figure out how to have the TV as an occasional friend - what do you do to manage TV viewing times?

Seven years on...

A lot of good things come out of having children. One of the great blessings we received when MiniiMe was born was being putting into contact with some great people. In particular my mother's group. We meet pretty much every Wednesday for three years and then on and off over the last four years. Some more than others.

On Saturday we got together to celebrate the children reaching their 7th birthdays and to have some family photos done.

There was something in the air. Everyone was happy to be there, there was joy, there was a lot of love.

The seven year olds all lay together with their heads touching as they had for a photo when they were only a few months old. It was a special moment. We had got through some tough parenting together, shared our children's childhood and hopefully will share their futures. The community bonds were strong.

I am very thankful for these beautiful ladies.

Raising Girls...

Steve Biddulph was giving a talk not far from where I live this week so I went along to hear what he had to say about raising girls. Having three of them I thought it might be helpful!!

A lot of what he said related to children in general but there was a bit about the sexulisation of girls which was a bit more specific. My take home points were;

• Life is a lot different for our children compared to the world we and our parents grew up in. The issues I was facing at 16 my daughters will face at 12 so they will not have the mental capacity to fully understand them.
• For most of our world's history people lived in small communities surrounded by people who knew them and loved them so they had lots of adults affirming them and who they could relate to. Aunts and uncles are really important relationships for our children so that they have another adult they can talk to. It is important to give our nieces and nephews time as well, to listen when they talk to us.
• Children are dependant on us as toddlers but as they enter teenage years they enter that dependent stage again - if you minus 12 from their age as a teenager that is age you are dealing with. So having a 14 year old is like having a two year old again!
• Girls face a lot of messages from the media telling them that their looks are the most important thing, that they will never look good enough, that sex is to be exchanged for love and power and that it is ok to have sex with people you dont know or dont even like.
• Children learn from the people around them, we are always modeling behaviour to them. If you are constantly talking about your weight then they will pick up on the idea that they should not feel good about how they look.
• A reminder to talk to your children about how they feel about things.

That is a very brief summary but it was a good reminder about the little sponges that are around me and taking the opportunity to talk to them when these issues come up.

As it turns out, last night I was reading MiniMe Matilda and there was a part where the mother was saying that looks were all that mattered for girls so that they could find a husband (rather than reading books and learning). I asked MiniMe what she thought of this and she said that books were more important then looks and that it was a weird this for the mother to think.

Steve Biddulph would have been proud! I smiled, at least we are doing some things right as parents!

Terrible Twos...

JJ seems to have an awareness that she is about to turn two and I am finding it very difficult. She is in that difficult stage where she knows what she wants and will persist until she gets it. Sometimes she can tell me what she wants, sometimes she can't and is frustrated by her lack of communication. I am frustrated.

Some days she can make my cheeks hurts because she makes me smile so much. The last two days she has made my head hurt with her screaming.

The terrible twos have snuck up on me and I am not prepared. I know it is a phase and it will pass but I feel like I need some words of wisdom to help me prepare and forge through with some level of sanity.

Wisdom anyone? Please?!