Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Raising not managing...
I have been given a few pearls of wisdom that I want to record to remind me of when I no doubt forget!
A new friend was telling me about her weekend and she commented that her weekends were always busy because she loved them. Why? Because she loved having fun with her kids. It was so lovely to hear someone talk about spending time with their children with such joy and I wanted some of what she was having!
Another person chatted to me about the idea that parents can either chose to manage their children or raise them. Managing will focus on getting all the tasks done and being frustrated when they don't complete them. My friend with a 13 year old is still battling to get them to clean their room and I felt dread when I heard that - so many more battles ahead for me. But raising children will involve living in a mess as you seek to teach them things. There room may stay messy for awhile while they figure out the advantages of it being clean or that there is discipline and consequences for it being messy. Rather than packing up the lego make a big fortress out of it all together, leave it there to talk about the activity you did together and then all pack it away. Raising children will mean enjoying them more.
While I realise all this is easy to sit here and type and there will be many frustrations head and many lessons that will need to be taught, for now I want to focus a bit more on enjoying the lovely ladies I have.