I don't like my jumper....

I decided to knit a vest for Goofy. She doesn't like jumpers so I thought if I made a pink one with no sleeves I would have more chance of her wearing it and of keeping her chest warm.

This was her response to the finished product...

'I don't like my jumper!'

After a impressive tantrum she did keep it on and later in the day told Mardi (her grandmother) with an element of pride in her voice that Mummy had made her a special jumper. In the midst of her cries of not liking her jumper she must have heard me try and explain that I had made the vest just for her.

As a child I remember by mother making me most of my clothes and as I got to upper primary all I wanted was clothes like everyone else. Then as I got older and had to buy my own clothes I once again enlisted Mum's help to make costumes for 21st's or skirts for weddings etc.

I now appreciate all the effort Mum went to dress us and how accommodating she was when I came home asking for a blue skirt and then one would materialise. I think I took it for granted that she would just make things for me on demand and often would ask for alterations on the things she had made rather than properly thanking her for making it in the first place.

I may not have been screaming 'i don't like this jumper' but I might have appeared just an ungrateful.

Hopefully she heard me talk about her with pride in my voice.

Today is a chocolate day...

There are some days were I have a need for chocolate. I need it to so I can take my next step. Today is one of those days. We have no blocks of dark chocolate (milk chocolate does not cut it). I am eating cooking chocolate.

JollyJumper is still waking through the night and last night she spent the majority of the night in one of our arms. I am so tired of waking up tired.

There could be so many reasons as to why she is waking that it is hard to know where to start. She has two teeth poking through her bottom gum, she is on antibiotics for a chest infection, she seems to have a bit of separation anxiety at the moment, she has just got in the habit of waking at regular times (9pm, 2am, 5am), she is hungry (she eats a lot during the day, including protein) she is too cold, she is too hot or simply she can so she does.

Daylight saving starts this weekend and we are about to go camping (sorry, in advance fellow campers, I will attempt to keep her as quiet as possible!) so in my mind I will try some new things next week. MiniMe and Goofy both figured out how to sleep through the night by themselves by 4 months so I am not sure what, if anything, I should be doing differently.

I feel so foggy that there could be a simple solution right in front of me but I just wouldn't be able to see it. Any words from the wise?

Cookies...

Cookies just out of the oven, hmmm, warm peanut butter cookies.

These were the simplest recipe.

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 cup peanut butter

Bake for 10 minutes.

Looking at the ingredients you can see that they are a 'very somtimes' food but they sure do taste great and took under 15 minutes to be ready to eat. And eat I did!

Early morning thoughts...

In the early hours of this morning as JollyJumper decided she would like my company I sat on the rocking chair pondering life's big mysteries. What makes a babies bowels decide that 3am is a good time to defaecate?

JollyJumper only pooed once a week for the first 3 months of her life (great when you are using cloth nappies but not so great when there are days of discomfort beforehand). She has got better but first thought is not to check her nappy for any surprises if she is unhappy.

This lead me to start thinking about Goofy's new toileting habit - to take all her clothes off. I can understand when she is wearing a dress that this can be difficult to hold while doing the business but it is not just the dress that comes off - she has to be completely nude.

I was telling this to a friend who informed me that she used to work with a guy who had the same habit. Yes, he has to be nude to poo! So at work if he needed to 'dropped the kids off' he took off his whole suit. Can you imagine?!?!

Oh where the mind does wander in the quiet of the morning. Here's hoping that JollyJumper spares me any more such wanders and decides to sleep till the sun is up!

Today I am thankful...

This week I have many things to be thankful for...

• U2's new business that opened its doors today
• Goofy got a spot at MiniMe's old preschool for next year
• MiniMe got an award at school for being 'brilliant this week' (not quite sure how you qualify for it). 
• the organ I found on the side of the road (i have often joked that the only way out girls will go to a private school is if they get the organ scholarship to the local private girls school - how many people know how to play the organ these days? Surely there can not be too much competition. I feel we are slightly ahead in my plan now that we own an organ that sort of works!)
• the offer of a research job at my old university (even if it isn't practical to take it at this point in my life it was nice to be offered)
• going out to dinner with friends tonight
• the warm weather which lifts everyones mood
• a free weekend to do with as we please
• the word benign and that the oncologist used it today to describe my breast!

Grief

Grief is a strange companion. It comes and goes as it pleases, sometimes is holds on strong and other times it just gives you a gentle nudge, just enough so that you know it is there.

I have been feeling the nudge lately. I have a few friends who have close relatives battling with the last stages of cancer. It has been bringing up a lot of memories.

As I have mentioned, my mother died from leukemia about 4 years ago. She was diagnosed shortly after Christmas. I am always thankful that we got to have that Christmas, MiniMe's first, as a family. We went away to a beach altogether as a family, oblivious to what the next 7 months would bring. I remember Mum and I going shopping on boxing day and Mum having to sit down a lot and bring very tired. I remember being a bit frustrated but now I marvel that she was able to keep going as long as she did.

It was an aggressive leukemia and Mum was in hospital a lot. She never wanted to give up, right up until the end she was trying new treatments and praying that she might be cured. We all held onto that hope and so it seemed like she died very quickly in the end. She got pneumonia and died within a few days. They were very hard but very special days. I feel blessed that we got to have some last words together, as a family and alone with each other.

I miss my Mum a lot. Time does heal but the scar remains.

Daddy Days

Last week I went away with some friends to the mountains for one night. I took JollyJumper with me and left the elder two girls at home with U2.

They had a great time. They went exploring in the bush, went out for dinner and slept in a two man tent set up in their room over night. Things I would never think to do and not all in one day! And this is fantastic - I love that they all had such a great time! I never stress about leaving the girls with U2 which I am thankful for.

The other ladies who went had similar stories. The dads and kids had had a great time doing lots of fun things (expect one dad who unfortunately got stuck with one child vomiting and one child with diarrhea!).

It got me thinking. Because I am at home with the girls all week I don't often think to go and do special fun things. They more or less tag along with me as I do my errands or amuse themselves at home while I tidy/clean/wash/blog. This is one downside of living at 'work' - you cant just pack up and leave the mess at the end of the day, it surrounds you 24/7.

So I have decided I need to have 'daddy days'. Days were I forget about all the things I should be doing and go and do something fun and different with the girls by themselves.

Now I just need to think of some fun things.....