Grief

Grief is a strange companion. It comes and goes as it pleases, sometimes is holds on strong and other times it just gives you a gentle nudge, just enough so that you know it is there.

I have been feeling the nudge lately. I have a few friends who have close relatives battling with the last stages of cancer. It has been bringing up a lot of memories.

As I have mentioned, my mother died from leukemia about 4 years ago. She was diagnosed shortly after Christmas. I am always thankful that we got to have that Christmas, MiniMe's first, as a family. We went away to a beach altogether as a family, oblivious to what the next 7 months would bring. I remember Mum and I going shopping on boxing day and Mum having to sit down a lot and bring very tired. I remember being a bit frustrated but now I marvel that she was able to keep going as long as she did.

It was an aggressive leukemia and Mum was in hospital a lot. She never wanted to give up, right up until the end she was trying new treatments and praying that she might be cured. We all held onto that hope and so it seemed like she died very quickly in the end. She got pneumonia and died within a few days. They were very hard but very special days. I feel blessed that we got to have some last words together, as a family and alone with each other.

I miss my Mum a lot. Time does heal but the scar remains.