Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Worry again...

I am having a sense of deja vu. Almost a year ago exactly worrying about seeing the specialist about a breast cyst I have had for years was the topic of my post and now here I am about to write about the very same cyst and a similar worry.

Having already had the ultrasound and having the radiographer tell me it looked the same as last year I went into the oncologist yesterday thinking it was just formality. One those appointments you think they just make you go to just to make sure all the right boxes are ticked. Turns out there is a good reason to get the specialist to have a look at your scans.

After quietly peering at the scans he found the cyst has changed in shape and make up slightly. Add to this that is has been slightly painful on an off for the last few months means I now have to go and get a needle put it.

Best case it that they get all the benign gunk out and it never bothers me again. But there is always that little thought in the recesses of my mind that shouts - it could be something that bothers you a lot. There is that chance that it is something worse. And while worrying about something that has not happened and we have no control over is useless (U2 would say as useless as tits on a bull), it is hard to always ignore that little voice that likes to be quite loud.

I feel like I am going ok at managing the worry though. I have spoken to a couple of people about it to get it out of my system and am focusing on some fun things ahead - like an adults only family dinner tonight! I am looking forward to spending some time with my family without being interrupted by the children. I love it when we are all together too but this is a rare and special treat!

So while that anxious voice may like to have centre stage for the next couple of weeks I am going to attempt to keep it in check. It will have its time because sometimes being anxious about something is justified (or is it? maybe not justified but understandable). But I have learnt it does not need to be the dominant main character. A lesson that is has taken me some time to learn and today I am grateful for having learnt it.


  1. Oh my! Please let me know if I can do anything to allay your fears? Crossing my fingers and toes for you :-) x