Tuesday, May 8, 2012

This week...

It is my mothers birthday this week. We have had a family dinner to celebrate what would have been her 59th birthday. My brother said grace and thanked God for the life that she had. Normally that is something I can pray too. But not this week.

This week I want the life she could have had. I want her to be here with me, with my girls. I want to be thankful for her here in the present, not thankful for the short period we had in the past. This week I am angry and sad that another we have another birthday and mothers day without her. That we all miss out on the bounty of her gifts.

The past seven years have taught me that this is a phase that will pass, the grief will change its shape again.

But right now, I want my Mum.


  1. Oh, I'm in tears. Sometimes we just need to go day at a time. Hug your girls tighter and know that she is with you and watching you do an amazing job every day xx

  2. I can relate completely. Some days I want to scream in frustration that my dad has missed out on seeing my girls growing up and they have missed out on all his crazy, loving, sometimes frustrating being!!
    There is no words that can make it okay. It's just NOT and it sucks!