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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Worry...


If I could choose a gene not to pass down to my girls it would be the anxiety gene. I am a born worrier. Luckily U2 is not. 50/50 odds.

My propensity to worry about things is the main reason I decided against a career in medicine. I could too easily envisage myself lying in bed worrying that I had missed a terminal condition.

I have got better over the years.

But I still have my moments and today it one of those moments. I had my annual breast ultrasound and I now have to have a cyst investigated further with a specialist. My doctor said that it is most likely fine but until they have done further tests I just have to wait for that confirmation. I don't like waiting, it gives me time to worry.

My mother died of leukemia four years ago and my aunt had breast cancer (thankfully she is fine now). I feel like I am waiting for my turn to come. Seems silly when I see that thought written down. But the older I get the more people I know that are affected by some form of cancer. Was is always this way and as a child I was just blissfully oblivious or is just popping its ugly head up more these days?

A friend once told me that she allowed herself 10 minutes at the end of the day to 'worry'. Then she had to stop, pray and then leave those thoughts alone until the next day.

My 10 minutes is up. See you tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear that you have a waiting game to play. Bugger. I hope writing it down has helped and you can leave it until the results are known now? Keep me updated!

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